Doesn't She Kinda Look Like... Alan Alda?

For some reason, in a previous professional life, a colleague (we'll call him Elvis) told me that he thought I kinda looked like... Alan Alda. Now, to be clear, I know he was talking about the Mash-era Alan Alda, not the white-haired, documentary-making Alan Alda. (No offense, of course, Alan.) In Elvis' defense, I did have shorter hair that was longer on top so it would often flop in my face. And I was kinda lanky given I was both slim and not short. And, I was (and still am) kinda goofy. I think Elvis meant it as a compliment to my sense of humor. But, you know, I'm of the opinion that telling a woman that she kinda reminds you of a man? Unless you're telling her that she reminds you of Albert Einstein or Mohandas Gandhi or something, I don't think she generally receives it as a compliment. Even then, if you tell her she LOOKS like Albert Einstein or Mohandas Gandhi? Not likely to take it as a compliment. But I digress. Let's get back to the point of this story...

...It's Tuesday so I'm participating in Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesday.

Years ago, during this previous professional life, a bunch of us decided to go out for drinks and play pool one night after work. As some of us were getting out of my car, a couple of men approached us asking us for money. I had become accustomed to this and had developed a "policy" that I don't hand out money. I would, however, get a sandwich or something if I had the time. (Sometimes, people are not interested in food. Sometimes, people only want the money.) So when these two men approached us, I asked my friends - Paul and Noel - if they minded if I took a few minutes to get these two guys something to eat. Neither or them minded and Paul actually came with me as I walked across the street with the two men. We went into to a Subway sandwich shop and I encouraged the two men to get whatever they wanted.

While they were dictating what toppings they wanted on their sandwiches, I took care of paying the cashier. As I was getting my change from the cashier, I thought I heard one man say to the other, "Doesn't she kinda look like Alan Alda?"

Shocked, I turned to the one who had just spoken (wide-eyed, no doubt) and asked in a most accusatory tone, "What did you just say?!" I saw that my reaction seemed to concern the man so I assured him, "I'm not mad. I just want to know what you said."

The man replied, "Uh... I said... I... thought... you... kinda look like... Alan Alda?"

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed in the middle of the Subway sandwich shop. I couldn't believe it. Could NOT believe it. I confess I was even thinking, "Two BUMS OFF THE STREET think I look like Alan Alda?!"

I finished up with the cashier and the two men thanked me for my charity. We parted ways as Paul and I re-connected with Noel and the others - including Elvis- at the bar. I began telling Elvis about how these two strangers - literally bums off the street - said that THEY thought I looked kinda like Alan Alda. I was still dumb-founded.

As I was telling this story, Paul interjected, "Hey Judi? Uh, I told him to say that."

"Huh?" I said, perplexed.

Paul repeated, "I pulled those two men aside and told them to say that you kinda look like Alan Alda."

It was one of those moments where everything feels like it's moving through molasses. And you don't have anything to say because - what is there to say? I don't even remember what I said. I felt dumb. Humiliated even. Paul just grinned. He grinned that evil "I-just-got-you-good-didn't-I?" kinda grin.

(Last week, a few people sympathized with Paul and the awkwardness of The Winter Solstice Party we attended together. Obviously, Paul was more than able to fend for himself. And I'd say he certainly "got me back.")

Oddly enough, a few weeks later, a DIFFERENT colleague from a different department, Joe, asked me, "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you kinda look like Alan Alda?"

I immediately bristled and said sarcastically, "Oh, that's REALLY funny, Joe."

Joe looked at me, confused.

I said, "Paul told you to say that, didn't he? HA HA. Yeah, REALLY funny."

Joe eventually walked away, bewildered, as if I'd hurt his feelings.

Later on, I told Paul about Joe's comment and that I wasn't falling for any more of his pranks. The problem was, Paul hadn't told Joe to say that to me. !!!

So, not only had I alienated Joe, apparently there was ANOTHER person in the world who thought I kinda look like Alan Alda?!