The Winter Solstice Party

Solstice parties are fun. The first one I attended was like any other party - food, drinks, music, people, etc. It was basically a party with the excuse that we, as people who live in the northern hemisphere, were all gathering to celebrate that the amount of sunlight would INCREASE for the next six months.

So, when I was invited to my next Solstice party, I assumed (never a good sign) that it would be similar. This party was being given by a different host, however - Carol. And Carol happened to make her living as a life coach. But now I'm getting ahead of myself...

(Let me interject that it is Tuesday and therefore I am participating in Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesday tradition.)

Around the same time, I was mildly interested in this guy Paul. We went out once but... I had a feeling we weren't very compatible. (I would later discover I was right, but that's not part of this story.) I was, however, willing to give it another shot. Or at least another date. He asked if we could go out again and I suggested he come with me to a Winter Solstice party. He raised an eyebrow at the "winter solstice" portion but I assured him it was just like any other party and that the "winter solstice" part was merely the occasion/excuse to have a party. So he agreed.

Carol said the party started at 7:30pm but I assumed (never a good sign) that meant arriving any time AFTER 7:30pm would be acceptable. Paul and I arrived at Carol's house around 8:30pm and discovered about 6-8 other people, including Carol. Apparently, I'd been invited to a small and intimate soiree. Woops...

Now, it might be helpful context to mention that one of the reasons I didn't think this guy Paul and I were compatible was because he didn't seem all that introspective. At least, he didn't (or couldn't) verbalize his introspection, if it was there. And, perhaps more importantly, he didn't seem to appreciate my interest in being introspective about life. He was fun, however, so I figured going to a party together was "safe." No need for deep thinking or sharing our inner most thoughts.

So imagine my surprise when I discovered that while there was food, wine and music... this was not just like any other party. There were various solstice-celebrating activities Carol had coordinated. Painting, candle-globe-making, some group knitting project... I was dumbfounded. Carol handled our late arrival with grace and immediately incorporated us into the activities.

I was thinking, "I can't believe I brought Paul to this party."

Toward the end of the evening, Carol had us all gather in her living room. We all stood quietly in a circle and she lit a candle. Since we had gathered to acknowledge and celebrate the increasing presence of light (the practical function of the winter solstice) she asked us all to think about the ways that we bring light into the lives of others. It was quiet for a few minutes and then she shared that she felt she brings light into the lives of others by helping people find their own light. (She is a life-coach, after all.) She passed the candle to her fiance' and he began to share how he felt he brings light into the lives of other people.

At this point, I was having a hard time paying attention. I was thinking, "I can NOT believe I brought PAUL to this party!"

When Carol's fiance' was finished, he passed the candle to Paul. I heard him say something about bringing light into the lives of others through his humor and then he quickly passed the candle to me. I was desperately trying to focus and get myself back into the moment but I was also doing everything I could to prevent myself from laughing. The fact that Paul was participating in this, I guess, was uncomfortable or at least humorous to me. Rather than laugh, however, I assumed (never a good sign) that exhaling a laugh out of my nose would be, well, more... discreet. I had to find some way to satisfy the overwhelming physical urge I had to laugh. And come on, you know what I'm talking about. When you quietly breathe out your nose as a way of almost silently laughing? Well, exhaling out of my nose DID satisfy my overwhelming physical urge to laugh. It also BLEW OUT THE CANDLE I was holding in front of me (and directly under my nose)! I hated to think what that meant about me and bringing light into the lives of others - apparently I had the ability to snuff the shared light out of the group!

Carol smiled and re-lit the candle.

I spent the rest of the night "waiting to exhale."